Midnight Ramblings from Tom

Tom here:

I haven't had a typical night's sleep since this whole thing began. The best I can do is a couple of hours sleeping, followed by a period of activity. I just came from bed listening to Ruth Ann's quiet breathing and thrilled by the unspeakable luxury of having her by my side. I have never loved her more than I do now.

In fact for all of its ups and downs, the entire experience has been an enormous blessing, my own "It's a Wonderful Life" episode. I can't begin to describe the enormous well of gratitude and love that I have for all who have reached out to help me in this experience. First and formost is my family. I think we have drawn together in ways that we had never experienced before now, there have never been more hugs, and more "I love you"s spoken.

Next comes my LDS Ward. For those of you reading this who know little about the LDS Church, I will give you a short course: The entire Church is organized into small, neighborhood units or congregations called "Wards", typically consisting of around 100 families. Wards in turn are organized into a larger unit, called "Stakes" which contain 5 to 8 Wards. This is a lay organization, there are no paid positions at the Ward and Stake level, all leadership is voluntary and comes from the members. At the heart of a Ward is the
Bishopric, three good men chosen to lead the ward for period of typically five years. They organize the ward and call ward members to different positions. Underpinning all of this is the Priesthood which Mormon's believe to be Christ's authority, restored directly from Christ as part of the restoration of the Church. The Priesthood is held by every worthy male, with offices of Deacon, Teacher, Priest, Elder, and High Priest at the Ward level. All Elders and High Priests are called to a variety positions, one of the most common and fundamental being that of Home Teacher. Every Home Teacher is assigned several families to watch over, visit, teach and care for.
The women do not hold the priesthood, but share it with their husbands. The women are organized into a large organization called the Relief Society, which provides activities for the women of the ward. It is led by the Relief Society Presidency, three good women chosen to serve for several years. The men are organized into Priesthood Quorums, the young men 12 to 18 into Deacon, Teacher and Priest quorums, the men into Elder and High Priest quorums. Each of these quorums also are led by a presidency except for the High Priest Quorum that has group leaders (also three men).

The result of all this is a group of people who know, love, watch over, teach, and care for eachother. And I have been blessed by my ward and its members at every step of this process.

Before having my biopsy, my home teacher gave me a Priesthood blessing. After that blessing we both knew that I had cancer, because the inspiration and blessing was one of promised support of the Spirit, not a promise of being cancer free. When I got the biopsy results a week later, I was already prepared and ready to take the challenge.

Before my surgery I was given another blessing from my home teachers, then as the crisis began after the surgery I received a blessing from my brother in law (who is as Bishop). It was a powerful, spiritual and comforting blessing, I was promised that I would live, and that all of my bodily functions would be restored. I can't begin to describe how much it meant to me because at that time I was wondering if I was going to make it.

Next came a blessing from my own Bishopric, then another from the Stake Presidency. All of these provided comfort and helped with my recovery.

Add to this the support and prayers of the ward, and from you, my dear friends, and I can say that through it all I have felt a profound peace and gratitude and faith in a successful future.

While I was in the hospital, the ward was busy helping my family. Meals were prepared and delivered by the relief society sisters who organized this to spread out the burden and make sure enough came, but not too much. My neighbor has kept my driveway clear (we have had almost constant snow since I entered the hospital) and ward members helped in many other ways. This afternoon a ward member walked with me in the halls of the church house, I expect to have more walks, with more members as I recover.

Last Sunday was the first of the month and we had a special meeting called "Fast and Testimony". At the beginning of each month, each member is encouraged to fast for 24 hours and donate the money saved to the Church's Welfare system. While fasting, members seek additional spiritual guidance and insights. At the meeting on Sunday, members are invited to share their testimony, and share thanks and blessings with other members. This is strictly voluntary, members who wish to speak walk up to the podium.

My wife came up to bear her testimony and thank the ward members for all that they had done to bless us. Finally, she said, "If you want to pray for Tom, pray that the leak will be healed and stop". It interesting that it appears the leak HAS stopped, and it began stopping as soon as I arrived home, at the nexus of these prayers.

Next, I am grateful for the Nurses and staff at the Huntsman Center. What a wonderful group of people! All were kind, helpful, gentle, and competent. They are doing the greatest work in the world, and do it in a compassionate way. After all, my cancer, as cancers go, is very curable and easily treated, I met many other patients there in my walks around the hallway who have REAL problems. Chief among them was a young man named Brady, or Brandon. He had a rare cancer, typically only 75 cases a year, which required the doctors to open him from stem to stern, examine every organ, remove any showing signs of cancer as well as his lymph nodes. If the biopsy is positive, he will probably only have a year to live, leaving behind his wife and five children. He needs a miracle, and I will pray for that every day. Please do the same.

These nurses deal with heart wrenching cancer patients on a daily basis. It never ends, and must be a real emotional drain, but they keep performing the same wonderful service to all.

Well, this is long, even by my standards, so I will wrap it up. I love all of you, I thank you for all of the ways you have blessed me and my family.

The urine continues to pile up in the Foley bag, and none is coming from the stomach drain. I am very hopeful. I will let you know when I know for sure that the leak has stopped.

All the best,

Tom